half-birthday

Happy half-birthday to me! Today marks the day that I am officially half way through the initially horrifying 23^rd year of my life. And guess what, I’m making it making the most of it. And dare I say, 23 looks good on me? Oh yea, I believe it does.

Facebook is awesome at target marketing, meaning my news feed is often full of articles like “Things I wish I Had Known in My Twenties,” “The Ultimate Bucket List for 20-Somethings,” “Letter to My 20 Year Old Self,” etc. etc. So of course I read all of them. Some of them are very inspiring and helpful, while others are a little unrealistic. How many 20-somethings do you know that can afford trips to China, Europe, the Burning Man, Thailand, etc…(to fulfill the 20-Something Bucket List, of course!) Maybe I’m a minority in this case, but I’m a poor 20-something that is paying off student debt with every paycheck, so I don’t see a trip, let alone multiple trips, out of the country happening anytime soon.

Nonetheless, soaking up all the 23-year-old targeted information has led me to be more conscientious about setting realistic goals for myself- like making health a habit after college and finding a church that fits me and budgeting myself so I can have minor splurges when “necessary.” These are things that I have probably been working on for some time, but they seem to move higher up the priority list every day. It’s funny how much the relationship with yourself grows after college. I have become my own personal mentor and counselor after leaving my professors and sorority sisters behind. But thanks to the help of Alex and a few phone calls home, I think I’m making it pretty darn well.

Thus far into 23, I have learned to cook, I find myself being a mindful shopper by checking the labels, I’ve purchased five books with intent to read them all and have finished one of them (possibly two by the end of today- (this is impressive for me)), I treat myself to hot tea (Yes, hot tea. I’ve always enjoyed it but only recently did it occur to me that I can have it anytime I want. If that makes me non-Southern, then so be it.), I have a 401k and a credit card with cash back rewards, I invested in my first Erin Condren Life Planner (I’m hooked now), I’ve found myself entertaining the thought of participating in a half-marathon on multiple occasions (though my longest running distance ever was a little over 3 miles. Hey, dream big!), and I read the news instead of just pop culture headlines. I also did my first tire burnout at a busy intersection because I believe that some things aren’t meant to be outgrown. If this year has been good for anything so far, it’s definitely the investment in myself. I could do better, but I could always do worse too.

So here’s my cheesy half-way through 23 list of (no-super-obvious) things I believe every early 20-something should do:

1. Read devotionals or something that stirs your spirit, not just your imagination.

2. Be around people of all ages and learn from them all. Don’t just listen to older people when they talk, ask questions as well. Chances are, they will love telling stories and giving advice and there’s an even higher chance that you will walk away with a lot more than you bargained for. And spend time with younger people too. Be entertained by the enthusiasm and open-mindedness of children and always listen when a teenager is talking…they will need you to tell them regularly that life isn’t over after a breakup or a bad day. Appreciate being in the middle. You may feel lost sometimes, but you fit perfectly right where you are.

3. Eat real food. Don’t just snack on junk. And be aware of what you put in your body. Don’t eat something you can’t pronounce, unless it’s foreign. Even then, you should probably Google it first just to be on the safe side.

4. Find what you’re passionate about and continually make time for it. For some it’s a lifelong journey- I still haven’t exactly narrowed my list down to what exactly makes my heart beat, but always be in pursuit of those things and you will never feel unfulfilled.

5. Invest in a crockpot. Sometimes it’s necessary to have dinner ready when you come home and only one dish to wash. Thank God for paper plates.

6. Clean your house once per week. You aren’t in college anymore- don’t let your home look like you still are.

7. Make old relationships a priority. Don’t let your time be so overtaken with jobs and chores and new ventures that you forget who really matters. Make the phone call. Make the drive. Save up for a plane ride/family vacation/girls weekend. It will always be worth it.

8. Don’t worry if you still don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing or are unsure with your direction in life. My dad is about to retire and still has never decided what he wants to be when he “grows up.” There is a time for everything and I firmly believe that your 20’s are all about patience and trusting God. Just keep hanging in there and remember, not everyone peaks in their 20’s.

9. Be a supportive alumni of whatever you did. Telling people how much better things were when you were there is for high school. We’re older and more wise now…give good advice and always cheer on your successors, for better or worse.

10. Get a job. Even if it’s not THE job. Don’t live off other people when you’re capable of supporting yourself. And don’t be a complete Millennial. There are pro’s and con’s to our generation- embrace the pro’s and try to maneuver around the con’s as much as possible to prove that our generation is not completely worthless.

11. Wear sunscreen and don’t smoke cigs, for crying out loud. Your skin’s cellular turnover (or whatever the heck it’s called) is slowing down, just like your metabolism. Live accordingly.

So there you have it; I have now given my Facebook-advertisement-worthy blog advice for 20-somethings. Sorry if you were expecting a nice even numbered list- I don’t do even numbers. Ever. Not even on my alarm clock. And that’s another great thing about being 23- I don’t care if we don’t see eye to eye. Makes life that much more colorful.

Here’s to the next six month’s worth of 23.

Love always,

Addie

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” –Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“I’d discovered, after a lot of extreme apprehension about what spoons to use, that if you do something incorrect at table with a certain arrogance, as if you knew perfectly well you were doing it properly, you can get away with it and nobody will think you are bad-mannered or poorly brought up. They will think you are original and very witty.” –Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“What a man wants is a mate and what a woman wants is infinite security,’ and, ‘What a man is is an arrow into the future and a what a woman is is the place the arrow shoots off from.” –Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Plain old covers and Walls

You know what I’ve been thinking lately? It really is hard to judge a book by its cover. Some of the best books ever written have dated, simple, solid color covers binding them together. How are we supposed to judge that when there’s not even a picture to depict something that has to do with the plot? Or what about the books that have subtle “symbols” on the cover that you can’t quite understand until after you’ve read the book? Or the one’s whose cover doesn’t at all match what you envisioned in your head while reading the book? Maybe that’s just how society is evolving. Used to, people didn’t need a certain color or picture on the front of a book to convince them to read it. They read out of sheer enjoyment and curiosity. Not that people don’t still do that, but more and more I think we find ourselves literally judging what we want off of reviews from other people’s opinions or simply by the outward appearance that someone else created in their mind. How do you possibly deem that a self-made decision? Two people can look at the exact same object and see two totally different things. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t take other people’s word into consideration, but we do need to start weaning ourselves from the attitudes that are being fed to us by today’s society.

Ok, that intro led me to the meat of my discussion for today: don’t judge a book, don’t judge a person. There’s an old saying that we’ve all heard, “don’t judge another person until you have walked in their shoes.” As I was sitting in the McDonald’s drive-thru last night at 2:00 am, I never realized that to be more true. For example, do you think that the man working the window dreamed of growing up to work the McDonald’s night shift? Probably not. (I can’t honestly say that it would be a bad job, because I’m sure that it can be very entertaining at times to meet all the “forth-mealers” in their nightly endeavors, and if the man truly loves his job, who am I to say he doesn’t? The man could have been a road kill clean-up staff member for all I care, as long as that’s what truly makes him happy.) But the drive-thru window man didn’t look happy at all. Tiredness had overtaken him and he honestly looked a little sad, which initially could have been mistaken for rudeness, and also really put a damper on my Happy Meal.

Some people have tough lives. I don’t know why I was blessed enough to be dealt a good hand (Lord knows I don’t deserve it), but it always makes me think twice about those who didn’t quite get the “luck of the draw.” Some people are able to overcome their struggles and humble themselves, while others never even try to fight the battle because they feel like they have lost before they ever get started.

So when you run into a person that’s mean, dirty, quite, or simply working a job that you wouldn’t have chosen for yourself, remember, you don ‘t know where they’ve been and what they’ve had to endure. Battles and triumphs make us stronger, but they can also cause walls to be put up. When you judge a person without knowing or taking into consideration their story, you are not taking advantage of a life lesson. We can all learn something from each other.

Next time you’re out, take a moment to “people watch.” You’d be amazed at what you can gain from actually getting a glimpse inside someone’s life instead of taking one quick glance and shutting them out.

What have you learned from your neighbors today?

Love always,

Addie

“Your neighbor’s vision is as true for him as your own vision is true for you.” -Miguel de Unamuno