old hymns

I’ve heard that a child is closer to God because of their innocence and open hearts that have yet to be hardened by the world. For me, I disagree. I once was that child. And I can unfortunately admit that my heart has been hardened by the world. I am not sure if I have made the conscious decision somewhere along the way to listen and look for God in my everyday, or if He was waiting for this time to become more apparent to me, but recently I see Him more and more- even when I’m not looking.

I once was lost, but now am found.

I also read an article last week about the hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness and how it is a somewhat broad phrase in terms of praise, but can be so personal to each individual. And guess what was on the bulletin to sing in church last Sunday after reading that…yep, I may or may not have soaked up every verse of that powerful song like never before.

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

My newest obsession- besides still giving a good swing at whole holistic lifestyle thing- is reading devotionals about being a Godly wife. Loving him like Jesus does, as Eric Church would call it. And quite frankly, I can’t get through most of them without crying. But I like it. A lot.

This is a short one, but I promise to write again soon of all the latest in my life. Lots of changes lately!! But I want to leave with one thought:

The zest of a lemon is minuscule compared to the whole, but it’s by far the tastiest. I believe the same goes for life. Don’t overlook the small and often unnoticeable things because they are often the best parts of life. They fill it with the unexpected and memorable times. And of course, that’s why they’re called the ZEST of life! (Sorry for the pun, I had to.)

Love always,

Addie

“You know it’s a good day when the organist starts to play the hymn and Papa starts to cry. That’s how you know there are familiar angels in the sanctuary, singing through the notes in the old hymns.”

choose love.

Between the last blog and now, I got engaged. To be more exact, I got engaged on the exact day of my last blog. And I’ve been living in a fairy tale ever since.

I can easily remember that I blogged on the day of the engagement because right before he popped the question, I started getting those “spidey senses” that tell you something isn’t quite right (or in my case, everything was perfectly right!). I could feel my nerves pricking up and so what do I do? I start talking. You know, the nervous ramble that doesn’t exactly fit the situation but fills the void and makes you feel a little more comfortable…and of course I was talking about what I had blogged about just hours earlier. How fitting! Discussing my own personal 20-something’s list right before getting asked to spend the rest of my decades with my best friend.

So if you’re anything like me, you want to hear the story. Without further ado, here is my engagement story– to the best of my memory between moments of blackout…:

We try to plan “date nights” to keep things fun…whether it’s going out to the movies or just sitting on the couch watching “our show”, it always makes things more exciting when it’s referred to as a “date.” Alex had planned date night for Thursday (September 19th). We were going to dinner at Anthony’s and I was to be ready by 6pm. I got home a little early and started getting ready before realizing that I had left my straightener in Nashville (I was there the previous weekend for Kaitlin’s bachelorette party and apparently had not attempted to fix my hair all week since I was just now realizing this dilemma). So I pinned it back to the best of my efforts and then met dilemma number two- “nothing to wear.” If you’re a girl, you probably can understand that this happens frequently, often at the most inconvenient times. But I settled on an outfit and decided it was at least decent enough to go to dinner.

After Alex got ready, he told me he was going to go help Mr. Tommy (a friend/neighbor) move some corn while I finished getting ready. (This isn’t unusual so I didn’t think much of it- especially since we still had about 20 minutes until we were supposed to leave.)

I was ready right on time (for once in my life) but Alex had not made it back yet, so I texted him to remind him that if we didn’t leave soon we were going to lose our reservations (because Thursday nights are popular at Anthony’s with college date parties and big groups since they usually have a band). No response. I waited a few more minutes and decided to call him. He said he was on his way and told me that one of Mr. Tommy’s cows had twin calves! (Just to catch everyone up to speed, Alex and I spend most of our Friday nights in Mr. Tommy’s cattle field watching and listening to the cows. And anytime there is a new baby calf to tend to, I’m always on call. May not seem like much, but to us, that field is the best place in town. Now, back to the story…) Being the diva that I am, I decide to grab some beers and wait on him outside to further prove the point that I was ready on time and he was not.

He pulled into the driveway and I hopped in, ready to head to Anthony’s but instead he turned toward Mr. Tommy’s place telling me that we still have enough time to see the calves before we left. I knew this couldn’t be right because we were already running 20 minutes late….he grabbed my hand and said “I love you with all my heart” (which again is not unusual because I’m a very luck girl with such a sweet man!) but that’s when those spidey senses kicked in and (after telling him that I love him too) I started rambling. He pulled into the field and drove the wrong direction but I assumed he was taking a short cut since he was just here and probably knew where the calves were. When we got to the back field, the cows were nowhere in sight. I told him that they must have moved to the front field but he turned the truck off and got out anyway. Again I argued with him but he told me they were probably just over the hill….As stubborn as I am, he finally took my hand and said “just come on!” So I reluctantly followed him through the gate, which he didn’t close (I also let him know that too…) and he turned to face me and started smiling. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions but knowing that something was really strange, I didn’t really know what to do…or say…or feel..or do. Then he said “well I didn’t really bring you out here to look at calves…I brought you out here to [note: this is the part where I kinda black out, so everything from here on out is pretty much just a collective recollection between the two of us.] tell you how much I love you and that I want to marry you.” Then he pulled a gray box from his pocket, dropped to one knee, and opened the lid. Inside sat the most beautiful ring I could have ever imagined. The fuzzies around my vision clouded out every conceivable thought and in that moment, time stood still. (Another note: We had casually discussed rings before and he had questioned what I liked. The ring he gave me is nothing like the description that I gave him of what I like– it’s BETTER! He told me that the he looked at ones like I described but thought they were ugly (gee, thanks–haha!), and when people ask how he knew what to pick out, he just tells them it’s because he knows me better than I know me. And he’s right.)

One of the shots from Kaley’s camera of the proposal!

It seemed like hours before he finally stood and put the ring on my finger (after I told him which hand it goes on) and then we shared what is possibly the best, biggest, comfiest hug ever. After a moment, I could feel his arms moving behind me. I turn to find Ty and Carson (his two best childhood friends) jumping up and down on a hill about 50 yards away, and Kaley (Ty’s fiancé- now wife- who just so happens to also be a photographer) hiding in the bushes about 15 yards away with her camera, capturing the whole event! I was completely shocked to say the least. But it didn’t end there…after double checking that he had asked my parents (which I was also shocked by because up until that point in my life, I thought my mom couldn’t keep a secret from me…)I started the long chain of contacts on the way to the restaurant. To be honest, I was no longer hungry.

The Ring!

When we arrived at Anthony’s I was surprised once again by his family, the Atkins, and a handful of both of our Mississippi friends already sitting at the table waiting on us. We chattered and buzzed for what seemed like hours before the waitress came, and I ordered despite the fact that I wasn’t hungry. Mostly because I had started drinking the congratulatory drinks and knew that if I intended on keeping up, I was going to need some food. The night finally ended and we went home and I slept like I hadn’t in days. I woke the next morning to a beautiful ring and a lovely face next to mine…reminders that the night before wasn’t a dream- it was better because it was reality.

Our first bottle of Dom- one of the special engagement gifts we received! Thanks, Jody!

It took me a day or so before it all sank in and to this day, I can’t stop staring at my left hand.

And that’s my engagement story.

I’m still not sure if I ever said “yes” but I think I nodded my head in speechlessness…Regardless, I have been sure to remind him on multiple occasions that I meant YES!

Since then, we have been to two weddings (one for Alex’s mom and Jody, and one for Ty and Kaley) so of course I’ve been taking lots of notes! And I have made my own wedding planner because I couldn’t find one to suit my standards-of course, that is no surprise to those of you that know me well. I’ve also already met with our wedding planner, Frank Trankler, and must say that I love him and would recommend him to anyone. He’s like my very own Bootheel version of David Tutera!

But all in all, I am most excited about starting a lifelong journey with my the person I told my mom I was going to marry after meeting him for the first time- my best friend and the one who is more me than I am. I don’t want to get so wrapped up in planning the wedding that I forget what the most important thing really is. I think so many of us put so much into finding the perfect dress and having the best reception and #engagementpics and Knot.com accounts and blah blah blah that they start neglecting their relationship…and doesn’t that sound backwards when you put it in perspective? I will be the first to admit that I have totally gone head first into the deep end of wedding planning and am so excited to have our wedding, but I refuse to let myself lose sight of what my wedding focus should be- Alex and the vows I want to publicly make to him- for the rest of forever. Which is why we are not only scheduling meetings with a wedding coordinator, but also with a pastor for pre-marriage counseling. I don’t care if I have the perfect wedding, as long as we have a good marriage.

I say “good marriage” because there are no two perfect people, meaning no two people can be “perfect” for each other, and also meaning that no relationship or marriage is perfect. Sorry if I busted your bubble. I know that some days will seem perfect and others will seem far from it. We will have to work at it and I have no doubt in my mind that we will fight and argue and disagree, but isn’t that what makes it so beautiful? Two people that CHOOSE to love each other day after day after day, regardless of disparities and miscommunications. Two imperfect people that can make it work, though it may be messy at times, because they keep God in their sights to understand the true meaning Love. Love is not deserving, it’s forgiving. I have a “yes” on my heart for two things at the moment: God’s direction and placement in my life, and choosing to love Alex with every piece of me. I made that promise when I took his ring. And will continue to make it every day of my life.

If we all worked as hard on our relationships as we did/do on our weddings, I wonder where we would be…

I can honestly say that I am more excited about who I am marrying and what it means than I am about any of the wedding itself. And I’m pretty pumped for the wedding…Just saying.

And here’s what they do after you say “yes”…ruin your candy rolls. All part of that messy fairy tale 🙂

I hope you embrace your own imperfect and messy love story. After all, it’s your choice to make it your fairy tale.

Love always,

Addie

“You kissed me, yes, but it was not just good night. Even then, I could feel the promise in it, the promise that you would kiss me just like that, forever.” –Nicholas Sparks, The Longest Ride

“I think again of the two of us…I still don’t know why she chose me. While she was exceptional, I was average, a man whose major accomplishment in life was to love her without reservation, and that will never change.”- The Longest Ride

God bless my America

I have a hard time writing about America. Not because of my lack of love for this great nation, but more so because I don’t know exactly how to put how I feel into words. I do this with people I love also. I don’t always come off as appreciative or sympathetic or loving or sincere as I truly am because I am so afraid that what I will say can never come close to my actual feelings. I can tell you all day how much I “love” shopping and dove hunting and Pretty Little Liars and lattes and sleeping in, because I know those things don’t care if I think twice about them. I also love words, but they can never do justice for a truly heartfelt emotion like love.

I love God. I love my family and the way I was raised. I love my hometown. I love horses and the way they communicate with and soften my soul and how being around them has bonded my family. And I love my country. Though these are pretty obvious statements, that’s about as far as I can go with them. Anything less is not enough, but any more would still not justify them enough for me.

I hope that everyone genuinely appreciates the ones they truly love today. So many have sacrificed things they love for us to be able to do so. Let this day be a reminder for every. single. day. of just how blessed we are. Cling tight to your loved ones and thank God for them every day. Cling tight to your freedom, it’s only by it that we can chase our passions and dreams and the other things we “love.” Cling tight to the land that we live on which, God willing, provides us all we need and allows us to also meet the needs of others abroad. Cling tight to your right to voice your opinion and never ever think that you don’t matter. Cling tight to your neighbor, even those that you do not love, because together we are a strong and diversified nation. We can only prosper when we learn to be a united front. Divided we fall. The United States of America is not just a country or a big plot of land sandwiched between two others. America is her people and we represent her every day in what we say and do, in the way we carry ourselves, in what we post, in what we think, in what we believe.

Being American is not always about fighting and rebellion. It’s about standing up for the little man and doing what is right. It’s not about absolute power or being better than anyone else. It’s about allowing everyone the opportunity to use their strengths where others are weak, so that we all have the chance to flourish. It’s not about pushing your thoughts on other people and angering when they disagree. It’s about finding the joy in the idea that we can all have different opinions and still thrive under one diversified governing body. It’s not about political warfare and self-defense and birth rights. It’s about understanding that we are a fallen creation that is going to face dark times and hard questions, but knowing we can get through them.

And to me, being American is owning a gun for defense, not offense. And speaking of defense, my America is about football. And the marching band. My America is going to church and believing. Believing. My America is driving to the grocery store on Sunday and waiting in line at the checkout. It’s choosing where you want to go to college. It’s a funny movie. It’s fashion trends and diet fads and apple pie moonshine. It’s freedom of expression and parents who teach their children respect- how to earn it and how to show it. It’s getting what you work for, not what you think you’re entitled to. And it’s never about settling for less that you deserve. It is chasing dreams and opportunity. Opportunity. And it doesn’t get any better.

I hope today you remember what threatened this country 12 years ago on this day. And I hope you are grateful to still call it yours. I hope you also keep everything you love in mind when considering our current situations at home and abroad. And most of all, I hope you love America like I do. But I hope you can say it much better than I.

Love always,

Addie

“The American Dream is that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement. It is a difficult dream for the European upper classes to interpret adequately, and too many of us ourselves have grown weary and mistrustful of it. It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position.” – James Truslow Adams, The Epic of America

“It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the organizer, who gave us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag. And whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.” –Father Dennis Edward O’Brien, USMC

“Part of the American dream is to live long and die young. Only those Americans who are willing to die for their country are fit to live.” –Douglas MacArthur