choose love.

Between the last blog and now, I got engaged. To be more exact, I got engaged on the exact day of my last blog. And I’ve been living in a fairy tale ever since.

I can easily remember that I blogged on the day of the engagement because right before he popped the question, I started getting those “spidey senses” that tell you something isn’t quite right (or in my case, everything was perfectly right!). I could feel my nerves pricking up and so what do I do? I start talking. You know, the nervous ramble that doesn’t exactly fit the situation but fills the void and makes you feel a little more comfortable…and of course I was talking about what I had blogged about just hours earlier. How fitting! Discussing my own personal 20-something’s list right before getting asked to spend the rest of my decades with my best friend.

So if you’re anything like me, you want to hear the story. Without further ado, here is my engagement story– to the best of my memory between moments of blackout…:

We try to plan “date nights” to keep things fun…whether it’s going out to the movies or just sitting on the couch watching “our show”, it always makes things more exciting when it’s referred to as a “date.” Alex had planned date night for Thursday (September 19th). We were going to dinner at Anthony’s and I was to be ready by 6pm. I got home a little early and started getting ready before realizing that I had left my straightener in Nashville (I was there the previous weekend for Kaitlin’s bachelorette party and apparently had not attempted to fix my hair all week since I was just now realizing this dilemma). So I pinned it back to the best of my efforts and then met dilemma number two- “nothing to wear.” If you’re a girl, you probably can understand that this happens frequently, often at the most inconvenient times. But I settled on an outfit and decided it was at least decent enough to go to dinner.

After Alex got ready, he told me he was going to go help Mr. Tommy (a friend/neighbor) move some corn while I finished getting ready. (This isn’t unusual so I didn’t think much of it- especially since we still had about 20 minutes until we were supposed to leave.)

I was ready right on time (for once in my life) but Alex had not made it back yet, so I texted him to remind him that if we didn’t leave soon we were going to lose our reservations (because Thursday nights are popular at Anthony’s with college date parties and big groups since they usually have a band). No response. I waited a few more minutes and decided to call him. He said he was on his way and told me that one of Mr. Tommy’s cows had twin calves! (Just to catch everyone up to speed, Alex and I spend most of our Friday nights in Mr. Tommy’s cattle field watching and listening to the cows. And anytime there is a new baby calf to tend to, I’m always on call. May not seem like much, but to us, that field is the best place in town. Now, back to the story…) Being the diva that I am, I decide to grab some beers and wait on him outside to further prove the point that I was ready on time and he was not.

He pulled into the driveway and I hopped in, ready to head to Anthony’s but instead he turned toward Mr. Tommy’s place telling me that we still have enough time to see the calves before we left. I knew this couldn’t be right because we were already running 20 minutes late….he grabbed my hand and said “I love you with all my heart” (which again is not unusual because I’m a very luck girl with such a sweet man!) but that’s when those spidey senses kicked in and (after telling him that I love him too) I started rambling. He pulled into the field and drove the wrong direction but I assumed he was taking a short cut since he was just here and probably knew where the calves were. When we got to the back field, the cows were nowhere in sight. I told him that they must have moved to the front field but he turned the truck off and got out anyway. Again I argued with him but he told me they were probably just over the hill….As stubborn as I am, he finally took my hand and said “just come on!” So I reluctantly followed him through the gate, which he didn’t close (I also let him know that too…) and he turned to face me and started smiling. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions but knowing that something was really strange, I didn’t really know what to do…or say…or feel..or do. Then he said “well I didn’t really bring you out here to look at calves…I brought you out here to [note: this is the part where I kinda black out, so everything from here on out is pretty much just a collective recollection between the two of us.] tell you how much I love you and that I want to marry you.” Then he pulled a gray box from his pocket, dropped to one knee, and opened the lid. Inside sat the most beautiful ring I could have ever imagined. The fuzzies around my vision clouded out every conceivable thought and in that moment, time stood still. (Another note: We had casually discussed rings before and he had questioned what I liked. The ring he gave me is nothing like the description that I gave him of what I like– it’s BETTER! He told me that the he looked at ones like I described but thought they were ugly (gee, thanks–haha!), and when people ask how he knew what to pick out, he just tells them it’s because he knows me better than I know me. And he’s right.)

One of the shots from Kaley’s camera of the proposal!

It seemed like hours before he finally stood and put the ring on my finger (after I told him which hand it goes on) and then we shared what is possibly the best, biggest, comfiest hug ever. After a moment, I could feel his arms moving behind me. I turn to find Ty and Carson (his two best childhood friends) jumping up and down on a hill about 50 yards away, and Kaley (Ty’s fiancé- now wife- who just so happens to also be a photographer) hiding in the bushes about 15 yards away with her camera, capturing the whole event! I was completely shocked to say the least. But it didn’t end there…after double checking that he had asked my parents (which I was also shocked by because up until that point in my life, I thought my mom couldn’t keep a secret from me…)I started the long chain of contacts on the way to the restaurant. To be honest, I was no longer hungry.

The Ring!

When we arrived at Anthony’s I was surprised once again by his family, the Atkins, and a handful of both of our Mississippi friends already sitting at the table waiting on us. We chattered and buzzed for what seemed like hours before the waitress came, and I ordered despite the fact that I wasn’t hungry. Mostly because I had started drinking the congratulatory drinks and knew that if I intended on keeping up, I was going to need some food. The night finally ended and we went home and I slept like I hadn’t in days. I woke the next morning to a beautiful ring and a lovely face next to mine…reminders that the night before wasn’t a dream- it was better because it was reality.

Our first bottle of Dom- one of the special engagement gifts we received! Thanks, Jody!

It took me a day or so before it all sank in and to this day, I can’t stop staring at my left hand.

And that’s my engagement story.

I’m still not sure if I ever said “yes” but I think I nodded my head in speechlessness…Regardless, I have been sure to remind him on multiple occasions that I meant YES!

Since then, we have been to two weddings (one for Alex’s mom and Jody, and one for Ty and Kaley) so of course I’ve been taking lots of notes! And I have made my own wedding planner because I couldn’t find one to suit my standards-of course, that is no surprise to those of you that know me well. I’ve also already met with our wedding planner, Frank Trankler, and must say that I love him and would recommend him to anyone. He’s like my very own Bootheel version of David Tutera!

But all in all, I am most excited about starting a lifelong journey with my the person I told my mom I was going to marry after meeting him for the first time- my best friend and the one who is more me than I am. I don’t want to get so wrapped up in planning the wedding that I forget what the most important thing really is. I think so many of us put so much into finding the perfect dress and having the best reception and #engagementpics and Knot.com accounts and blah blah blah that they start neglecting their relationship…and doesn’t that sound backwards when you put it in perspective? I will be the first to admit that I have totally gone head first into the deep end of wedding planning and am so excited to have our wedding, but I refuse to let myself lose sight of what my wedding focus should be- Alex and the vows I want to publicly make to him- for the rest of forever. Which is why we are not only scheduling meetings with a wedding coordinator, but also with a pastor for pre-marriage counseling. I don’t care if I have the perfect wedding, as long as we have a good marriage.

I say “good marriage” because there are no two perfect people, meaning no two people can be “perfect” for each other, and also meaning that no relationship or marriage is perfect. Sorry if I busted your bubble. I know that some days will seem perfect and others will seem far from it. We will have to work at it and I have no doubt in my mind that we will fight and argue and disagree, but isn’t that what makes it so beautiful? Two people that CHOOSE to love each other day after day after day, regardless of disparities and miscommunications. Two imperfect people that can make it work, though it may be messy at times, because they keep God in their sights to understand the true meaning Love. Love is not deserving, it’s forgiving. I have a “yes” on my heart for two things at the moment: God’s direction and placement in my life, and choosing to love Alex with every piece of me. I made that promise when I took his ring. And will continue to make it every day of my life.

If we all worked as hard on our relationships as we did/do on our weddings, I wonder where we would be…

I can honestly say that I am more excited about who I am marrying and what it means than I am about any of the wedding itself. And I’m pretty pumped for the wedding…Just saying.

And here’s what they do after you say “yes”…ruin your candy rolls. All part of that messy fairy tale 🙂

I hope you embrace your own imperfect and messy love story. After all, it’s your choice to make it your fairy tale.

Love always,

Addie

“You kissed me, yes, but it was not just good night. Even then, I could feel the promise in it, the promise that you would kiss me just like that, forever.” –Nicholas Sparks, The Longest Ride

“I think again of the two of us…I still don’t know why she chose me. While she was exceptional, I was average, a man whose major accomplishment in life was to love her without reservation, and that will never change.”- The Longest Ride

live it anyway.

Bold. It’s my favorite color scheme of all the Magic Markers. It’s my favorite style of coffee.  I also favor statements that are made in this manner- where they are vocal or physical, they always seem to convey the message well. Live your life accordingly- it can make all the difference.

While I’m being bold let me address a tragic epidemic that I seem to always be confronted with in the car: proper nose picking. Just because you are alone in your car doesn’t mean other drivers can’t see you. If you’re going to go digging for gold, remember two things: use your pinky finger (it seems more appropriate if it’s completely necessary- it’s also a less important digit to lose incase mom was right about losing it up there…), and keep it down to one knuckle. Eww.

Easy to say, coming from the girl who wore her shirt backwards for an entire day without noticing. Yep, that was yours truly just last week. What can I say; the different pattern on the back was a better compliment with my outfit than the front. Bold.

And now for a bold thought: how do we know God isn’t recycling our souls up there…? What if when we die, we really do come back? I’m not talking about reincarnation or meaning for this topic to pertain to religion at all. I’m thinking more along the lines of the possession and dispersion of knowledge. Where do people get original theories and ideas? What if Einstein’s soul had studied in another century and God recycled his soul to send him back and continue his research and quest. Maybe some people are built for discovering new methods and ideas that will essential help mankind move along with God’s greater plan and everything they need to know simply cannot be taught in one lifetime- so they get more. Maybe we’ve all been working on something for generations and we just haven’t realized it yet…Progressive. Bold.

Just read that Delaware passed a no spanking law- more specifically, they banned any and all “intentional pain inflicted to a child.” Well I don’t see a bright future for a country that will eventually be ran by children who weren’t spanked. Just doesn’t seem natural. My momma was a firm believer in not only spanking us, but using the paddle that my dad made especially for the occasion that Spence or I was being a turd. You better believe that it put the fear in me and straightened me out. Kid need to have a certain “fear” of their parents…not literally be scared, but more of an awe-like fear that’s described in the Bible in reference to how we revere God. Once they get older, they can appreciate their parents and no longer need fear infliction. I thought that “putting the fear of God” (literally and figuratively) in a child was part of parenting…better believe my parents did. To this day, one wrong look from my momma and I’m down like an 8-point buck on opening day.  Spanking shouldn’t be outlawed, it should be mandatory. With breakfast EVERY morning for some…in the words of Earl Pitts, “WAKE UP ‘MURICA!”

I finally found a burglar that I can relate to… a homeless woman in Sacramento was caught after breaking into a home. But this wasn’t your ordinary break it- though she did take some of the kid’s allowance money (which I would never do), instead of robbing the family blind, she preferred to spend her short time in the abode borrowing the shower. Yes, she broke into the house to shower. Can’t say that I blame her. Though I don’t mind skipping a day on showers, I can’t stand feeling gross- and in her case, I’m sure she did. (Before you judge me for skipping showers, know this: it’s not that I don’t like showers- cause let’s face it, everyone loves a good hot shower- it’s the aftermath. More specifically, it’s blow drying my hair that I HATE with a passion, but I regress. ) And the most relatable part of this story is the fact that she finished her shower off by helping herself to a Poptart. This usually would have gone unnoticed, but there was a small child or another Poptart lover like myself in the house because the subtitle of the news article said something like “even had the nerve to eat the last Poptart!” The nerve. I hope it was blueberry and worth it. Bold.

Next time you want to complain about something in your life, remember this: there is a girl somewhere in England or wherever else cookies are referred to as “biscuits” with a tic. Not the kind that suck your blood, which would be better in her case. Her tic causes her to say the word “biscuit” 16,000 (on average) per day AND she involuntarily bangs her head on nearby objects…sometimes even her own limbs. Know how she’s dealing with it? She’s working to help other people with tics. Get it girl! Bold.

In other news from England, a young girl wrote a message in a bottle and tossed it off a pier expecting it to float across the English Channel in hopes that her aunt on the other side might find it. Bet she was surprised when the message traveled some 10,000 miles and ended up in the hands of a grandma in Australia. I heard they’re really cool pen pals now. Jealous.

As most of you already know, I love coffee. How much? Not this much: previously employed engineers of NASA and Apple worked together to build “the perfect” coffee maker that can make your cup the “perfect temperature” every time. They said they loved coffee so much that instead of building a machine for coffee, they built the machine around the coffee itself to make it the best ever. It damn well better be for $11,111. I’d never….but I sure wouldn’t turn down a free sample if someone offered. And make it bold, please.

Talk again soon.

Love always,

Addie

“My whole life I’ve been telling myself ‘don’t be afraid.’ And it’s only now that I’m realizing how stupid that is. Don’t be afraid. Like saying ‘don’t move out of the way when someone tries to punch you’ or ‘don’t flinch at the heat of a fire’ or ‘don’t blink’. Don’t be human. I’m afraid and you’re afraid and we’re all always going to be afraid because that’s the point. What I should be telling myself is ‘be afraid, but do it anyway.’ Live anyway.”